How To Deal with a Toxic Boss
How I Made The Best of a Bad Situation - And You Can Too
I was 22, just under a year into my first full-time job when I learned what it's like to work for a toxic boss.
My newly-appointed boss marched up to me and yelled at me in front of all of my employees and coworkers. There was a time-sensitive problem that needed to be resolved, and he wanted to know what I was doing to handle it.
"I'm–," I started to explain, but he cut me off before I could answer.
Then he proceeded to shout everything I needed to be doing (all things I already was doing), and decided to hover over me, his now red face breathing down my neck while I attempted to keep doing my job.
As he continued shouting, frazzling me so much I couldn't do my work particularly well, I started to cry.
This was the first time he yelled at me and the first time I cried in front of him, but it wasn't the last.
After the third time, he pulled me aside to say that my crying was unprofessional, and that maybe I was too emotional for this job. He suggested I seek professional help. (To add insult to injury, he saw it fit to have this conversation right in the middle of an open-plan office, with my friends and colleagues walking past us as they left to go home for the day.)
His criticism felt highly ironic – not to mention sexist – given that he was well known for barging in and yelling at anyone, anytime , and yet he didn't see his own behavior as unprofessional.
The worst part was, I actually started to wonder if he was right – maybe I wasn't cut out for the job, after all.
This was one of many troubling interactions I had with this boss. When he wasn't yelling, he was condescending, and oftentimes he managed to do both things at once.
I got to the point where I dreaded work so much I'd sit in the parking lot and text my friend each morning, "Do I have to go in?"
It was a shame, because aside from this boss, my job was really a pretty good one, and I was pretty good at it. I wanted to like it. But how could I resolve this situation?
Following the 4 steps below saved my life in the ~6 months that I had to continue working with this boss while I put another plan in place.
If you're dealing with a boss that's manipulative, aggressive, greedy, or otherwise taking advantage of you on a regular basis, you may be dealing with a toxic boss. The steps below can help you make the best of a bad situation.
1. Take Care of Yourself
There are a number of ways to take care of yourself in this situation, but my two top recommendations are to 1) remember you're not crazy and 2) talk to someone!!
Remember You're NOT Crazy
When you identify toxic behaviors in your boss, the first thing to do is remember that you're not crazy. Toxic people are often manipulative and narcissistic – they feed off of others' insecurities, and they will do their best to make you think you are crazy. Their whole goal is to convince you that what they're telling you has validity, and given that they're likely older than you and in a position of authority over you, what they say may hold a lot of sway over your self-perception.
Do not give into these feelings of self-doubt! If you think you're doing a good job, in spite of what your boss is saying, you probably are...
Talk to Someone
This brings us to point number two. When you're dealing with toxicity of any kind, your ability to trust your own self-perception can become skewed. You think you're doing a good job, but if you've got someone shouting at you day in and day out, telling you you're failing... then are you really?
The easiest way to alleviate these feelings is to talk to someone. This could be a close friend (if it's a work friend, make sure you select someone you absolutely know you can trust), a counselor, or potentially someone in HR.
Talking to a third party can help you gain perspective on what's happening, as well as as an understanding of whether you're dealing with smaller issues that can be resolved, or symptoms of toxicity that likely cannot be overcome.
If you're scared of reporting your experiences to HR because you don't think they'll be taken seriously, that may be a sign of a toxic work culture that goes beyond your boss, and a red flag that you need to leave the company.
In my case, I heard from a number of colleagues that my boss had already been sent by HR to anger management several times – clearly it hadn't worked – and yet they were still promoting him. Definitely a red flag. (Keep these flags in mind when you're making your escape plan – see point 3.)
2. Don't Fight Fire with Fire
Focus your extra energy on points 1 & 3 – don't waste any of your precious emotional resources on anger towards your boss. Of course you'll want to rant and cry and occasionally yell. We all need to decompress. But do this with someone other than your boss. If your boss yells at you, don't yell back. Don't give them that satisfaction.
Because your boss has significant power over you and control over your day-to-day experience, you're not on a level playing field. They might escape negative repercussions for their actions, but they will still be able to hold you accountable for yours.
For example, my boss blindsided me during a performance review by formally blaming me for something he'd done wrong. Extremely frustrated by this unfairness, I walked out.
But what happened? He then used that as fodder to describe me as emotional, too sensitive, and incapable of taking feedback. For him, it just reaffirmed his previous assertion that I was unprofessional and too emotional for the job because I cried from time to time.
So my reaction to an unfair situation was used against me... to put me in yet another unfair situation.
I only started to come out on top when I did an Oscar-worthy performance of "loyal employee who wants to change." I took all feedback with a smile, nodding along by repeating my new mantra "This job is not forever."
So don't fight fire with fire - fight fire by channeling your inner Meryl Streep.
3. Make an Escape Plan
Once you know you're dealing with a toxic boss (and not a boss who's just occasionally a jerk), you need to make an escape plan. You won't be able to change your boss – and you can bet they won't respond favorably if you tell them that they're the one that needs professional help.
Depending on your particular situation, you may decide to leave your company altogether, or simply to ask to transfer to another team, but under no circumstances should you continue working for your current boss for any longer than necessary.
Toxic bosses, like toxic boyfriends, are meant to be left behind – you might go through patches where things feel better, but the manipulation, aggression, backstabbing, etc., will eventually resurface.
It's easy to search for reasons to stay longer – "It's not a good job market, I want my December bonus, I want to say I worked here for 2 full years, I want to vest fully in the company before I go..." Depending on your economic situation, some of these excuses might actually be very valid. As you consider these different incentives, ask yourself, "Is X worth dreading to come to work each morning? Are Y dollars worth sacrificing my mental health?"
Set a deadline for how much longer you're going to tough it out, and then pour all of your energy into doing what needs to happen before that deadline.
And, once you do decide to accept another job offer or simply to quit and pursue something else, feel free to give a bit more than two week's notice. Formally giving your notice is a great way of saying, "I don't give a ______ anymore," in a very, very professional manner. You can start wrapping up projects, no new work will be put on your plate, and people's mindsets toward you shift because they know you're on your way out. Your toxic boss may even move on to new prey.
4. Put Your Head Down
Once you have an escape plan in place, it becomes much, much easier to put your head down and do the work. Whether it's to make a lateral move at your company so you have a different boss, find a new job, or just run far far away from there (I ran to Peru), you'll feel much better once you have a new goal to pursue.
Having a goal you really care about makes it easier to put your head down and plow through work at your day job because you'll know that it's only temporary.
Putting your head down and doing the work also ensures a couple key things:
- You'll leave with your coworkers' respect and won't burn bridges - You might want to burn the bridge with your toxic boss, but doing so could mean several others will fall with you. It's better for your short-term sanity and long-term reputation to take the high ground.
- It will keep your boss off your back - If you're doing good work, said toxic boss might even start complimenting you. (Not that you should care about their praise). But more importantly, they'll bother you way less than they would if you gave them any excuse to pounce on you. Get your work done and you'll give them less ammunition to use against you.
Chris Sowers put it best: "Figure out what results the jerk cares about most (hint — it's likely the project you're getting yelled at the most about), and hunker down and deliver."
Doing good work is a temporary fix to make your situation more bearable, but even if you feel like things start to improve, be weary of aborting your escape plan - toxic people rarely change in the long-term, and you don't want to be tiptoeing around them forever.
Dealing with a toxic boss is draining and extremely frustrating. And most of all, it's not fair.
I still shake with frustration when I think about my own experience, but the good news is how much I've learned from it. Like all toxic relationships, dealing with a toxic boss is a valuable learning experience – once you know the warning signs, you can be better prepared to avoid them in the future. You can ask good questions when you interview and you can recognize the signs of a toxic boss early on.
So don't despair. Your current situation is temporary.
Above all, remember that YOU. ARE. NOT. THE. PROBLEM. You are good at your job. And you will be good at your next job, too. Take care of yourself, make an escape plan, and you will be okay.
- How to Respond to a Performance Improvement Plan - PowerToFly Blog ›
- How to Respond to a Performance Improvement Plan - PowerToFly Blog ›
- How to Respond to a Performance Improvement Plan - PowerToFly Blog ›
One of Jennifer Martin's first jobs was working the front desk of the Renaissance Mayflower Hotel in Washington, DC, where she got very good at asking one question: "How can I help you?"
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We asked 30+ women how you can make 2021 your best year yet.
Resolutions are one thing. Goals are another.
How do you move from vaguely hopeful statements about what 2021 will mean for you personally and professionally to thoughtful plans that are likely to come to fruition?
1. Make goal setting a ritual.<p>Sure, a new year is just a change of date, an arbitrary way to mark time. But if we create meaning around it, it can become something else entirely. Carmen Kelly, Training & Development Team Leader at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/quicken-loans" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Quicken Loans</a>, likes to see it as a real beginning. "I enjoy embracing the fresh, new year with hope of what could be, and a huge part of that is goal setting," she says. "Having goals in life is essential. Even creating goals for different areas of your life is key. This can help with making sure you are balancing out all critical aspects of your life that are most important to you."</p> <p>Starting with reflection can help make sure that your goals are well-connected to where you are mentally, personally, and professionally. "I always start with reflecting on my past to gain better understanding of myself," says Ankita Patel, Principal Software Engineer at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/clarus-commerce" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Clarus</a>. "What my capabilities are versus what I really foresee myself doing in next quarter or so. It allows me to see where I stand, what difficulties I have faced, and to shift my perspective from doubting myself to believing in myself. It forms the baseline of starting fresh and helping me plan for my future."</p><p>For Jess Tsai, VP of Business Operations at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/vts" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">VTS</a>, the ritual of goal setting begins with a long journaling session. "I reflect on the last year and rate myself on a scale of 1-10 for how happy I am in these ten areas: health, emotional/mental, relationships (friends/family), love/romance, service, learning/personal growth, experiences, spirituality, career, and finances," she says. "In the areas where I scored lower, I reflect on why. Then I go through each area and write out in detail what my life would look like if I scored 10 in each area, and try to visualize that life and feel like I'm already there. Depending on my scores and what's most important to me right now, I set some intentions for where I want to focus for the year."</p>
2. Build around your values.<p>Disparate goals scattered across different aspects of life aren't as likely to motivate you as one set of goals that coalesce around a theme, says Jac Le, a Senior Territory Sales Representative at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/autodesk-inc" target="_blank">Autodesk</a>. "Whether or not you're conscious of it, values are the foundation of goals, dreams, character, and decision making," she says. "Instead of creating New Year Resolutions, I create a Theme that I want to focus on for the year, which is based on my values. It can be a word or phrase. From there, every goal set throughout the year is measured in alignment with that Theme to ensure that my goals are an expression and enhancement to my values instead of a stressor to check off."</p> <p>If you're having trouble thinking of a good place to start from, or naming the values that drive your everyday life, Dipabali Chowdhury, a Learning & Development Specialist at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/mongodb" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MongoDB</a>, has advice that can help. "The more self-awareness you can build, the more specific your goals will be and the more motivated you will be. Sometimes, we set goals without understanding what's important to us. We follow someone else's compass instead of our own," she says. She suggests asking yourself reflection questions: "When I was happy at work, what contributed to that joy? When and why was I frustrated at work? What mindsets held me back from achieving my goals this year? What challenges did I overcome? What are my natural strengths? What skills, knowledge, or behaviors do I want to build in the new year?"</p> <p>Claire Lucas, Senior Manager, Services Operations at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/elastic" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Elastic</a>, suggests beginning with an end vision in mind. "I work backwards," she says. "I journal about my vision for the end of the year, trying to think about it uninhibited from any constraints. I then focus on creating a declaration for myself that will help me break through to reach my goals. The declaration ties together who I am today, and who I need to be in the future to fulfill this goal."</p>
3. Consider making personal and professional goals in harmony.<p>You might have personal goals that are completely unrelated to what you do at work. That's okay! Great, even. But you do need to make sure that they are complimentary at least so far as how they'll be achieved, says Lee Ann Mangels, Senior Director of Program Management at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/clyde" target="_blank">Clyde</a>. "Your personal and professional goals have to be somewhat aligned. If you decide to improve your time management in the new year, it will only work if the practice or process you start applies to your home and work life," she says. She gives an example: "Several years ago, I started taking 30 minutes on Sunday afternoon to review the week ahead. What meetings do I need to prepare for? What are we having for dinner? Do I have to coordinate any personal appointments for our family? Investing 30 minutes on Sunday has been a game changer for me."</p>
4. Start big, then whittle down as needed.<p>Being aspirational when you make your goals is key—but so is creating a practical plan to achieve them. "I always try to look at the bigger picture [when goal setting]," says Beatriz Alvarez, Talent Acquisition Sr. Analyst - Recruitment Events Lead at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/lockheed-martin" target="_blank">Lockheed Martin</a>. "I try to set a long term goal that seems impossible, making sure it is measurable, down-to-earth, and real—and most importantly, that it is motivating. Once I have my eyes on the prize, I strategize by setting up a group of smaller goals that will help me achieve it."</p><p>That being said, it's important to not lose sight of those aspirations, either. Amanda Fennell, Chief Security Officer at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/relativity" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Relativity</a>, has advice for finding the Goldilocks moment between too-easy and too-hard goals, finding the just-right pace where you're pushing yourself: "You never know how far you can go unless you set stretch goals. If I only set goals that I knew I could ace, it would be stacking the deck. I want to know how far I can push myself and in taking this approach, I have achieved some pretty amazing things. As Captain Marvel says: 'Higher, further, faster.'"</p><p>Yasameen Raissinia, APAC Commercial New Business Manager at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/smartsheet" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Smartsheet</a>, is a fan of the stretch goal, too. "I always like to push myself either personally or professionally to hit smaller attainable goals that add up to a big audacious goal. For example, I always try to set the goal of getting to the Presidents Club which typically has a goal post of 130%, which is massively difficult to achieve. In order to get there, I try and break down my weeks and my quota to overachieve, and try to give myself smaller goals around numbers of accounts, or contracts I close per week, helping me get to the major and impressive goal!" she says.</p><p>Bridget Barrot, <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/chainalysis" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Chainalysis</a>'s VP of Customer Success, has a three-step framework for getting that balance right. "The best lesson I've learned about setting goals is they need to be simplistic, realistic, and strategic," she says. "Simplistic: It's important to find things that are easy to measure, so that you can regularly assess them. Anything that requires too much work to analyze will set you up for failure. Realistic: Stretch goals are important, but it's also important to be practical about what you can complete in any quarter or year. When they get too lofty or too numerous, it's easy to just give up on them all together. Strategic: It's important to differentiate between goals and a 'to do' list. Goals can be a mix of big and small things, but they must be grounded in results rather than just a list of tasks to check off."</p>
5. Write goals down.<p>"We're all familiar with the numerous studies that underscore the correlation between writing down our goals and our ability to achieve them," says Shavit Bar-Nahum, Senior Vice President of Leadership Development at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/moody-s-corporation" target="_blank">Moody's Corporation</a>. "The bottom line is, if it's not documented, it's less likely to happen, you are less likely to hold yourself accountable, and it's much easier to slip back into old habits and behaviors. So whether you are embarking on a new opportunity, learning a new skill, or increasing your sales objective, write it down. And not just for yourself. From documenting it in a system of record to creating a visual reminder for yourself, capture your goals in a way that you and others can see your intentions and can support you on your journey."</p> <p>Going beyond writing down goals can help, too. Mary Kay Evans, <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/pymetrics">pymetrics'</a> Chief Marketing Officer, recognizes the power of writing down her own story: "One of the most challenging and rewarding exercises for me was actually writing out my story. Not goals in a bullet point list, but rather in a story format as though it's already happened. I began the year 2018 by writing the story I wanted to tell by January 2019. It was a narrative looking back on my accomplishments and challenges faced and how exactly I overcame them. By being vivid and specific, like a good narrative requires, I really had to bring my vision of the year ahead to life. It went beyond simply listing my goals to describing outcomes and how I would experience them. This preparation made all the difference as 2018 was a year of tremendous growth and accomplishment for me. It works!"</p>
6. Find a way to track your goals over time.<p>The many women we talked to had different ways of tracking, but the unifying thread is that each had found a way that worked for them. Alisa Cash, Director of IT Solution Delivery at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/blue-cross-and-blue-shield-of-north-carolina" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">BCBSNC</a>, sums up the key approach: "Do not set a goal that cannot be measured. This does not have to be an emphatic measurement (such as achieving 100% on time delivery = x; 90% on time delivery =y), although the more you can do this, the clearer resources tend to be."</p><p>For Sarah Morningstar, Ph.D., Data Researcher at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/primer" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Primer</a>, breaking her goals into timely metrics helps. "I have found that I am more likely to achieve my goals if they include specific and actionable metrics; otherwise, it is hard to determine if I am successful," she says. "For example, one of my goals for 2021 is to practice more yoga. However, the term 'more' is vague and difficult to know when I have achieved it. Instead of more yoga, I decided I wanted that to mean that I will practice yoga at least two times per week. Over the year, I need to practice 104 times or 26 times per quarter to be successful. Each quarter I work backward from 26, I do more some weeks, and others it's less. I allow this flexibility because I know that being a mom and a working professional, I can't always control my schedule."</p><p>Amanda Sternklar, Marketing Director at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/state-listings-inc" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">State Listings</a>, agrees, and notes that she checks in on her progress every week: "The most important thing for me is ensuring my goals are measurable, through metrics directly related to my own activities. That means that if I want to increase our blog following in the new year, my goals would look something like 'Create 3 original blog posts each week' and 'Be a guest contributor on 10 blogs in 2021.' That way, I can create a tracker—mine is a physical page in my planner, but there are also various apps that help with this—to see my progress at a glance. I review my tracker on the first Monday of each month to make sure I'm on track and figure out any steps I need to take if I'm not."</p><p>Amy Luo, Senior Product Designer at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/lattice" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Lattice</a>, likes identifying specific behaviors that she can easily keep in mind. "Be specific and focus on actions or behavior when defining your goals," she says. "Try setting a number you want to achieve or a completion date. It'll help keep you on track and you can clearly measure your progress toward the goal over time. For example, if you want to work on your writing skills, a general goal like 'Become a better writer' would be too vague and difficult to measure. A specific and actionable version could be 'Write for 30 minutes every day' or 'Publish an article every month.'"</p><p>For Stacey Chase, Senior Manager Internal Audit at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/siemens" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Siemens</a>, adding a visual element to her goal metrics is what keeps her on track. "I use a Kanban board on Trello to plan and organize my activity," she says. "In my first column I list my goals for the year and assign them a color. As I work on things throughout the year and add tasks I tie them back by color to the goal the effort is in service to. This helps me multiple ways. First, it is a visible reminder I see daily or weekly of the goals I have set. Second, I am constantly tying back my efforts and time spent back to my goals. Third, it gives me early warning that my goals or my efforts may need to be reevaluated if I find most of my energy is spent on things other than my goals."</p>
7. Don’t keep your goals to yourself!<p>Many of the women we spoke to highlighted how important it is for your goals, personal and professional, to exist outside of your own head. "Be sure to share your aspirations with others and ask for feedback along the way—don't assume your supervisor knows your near and longer-term plans," says Wyetta Morrow, Executive Director, Human Resources at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/raytheon-technologies" target="_blank">Raytheon Technologies</a>. That's particularly true for goals that can be advanced at work, she notes, adding, "Our career journey includes a village and it helps to have others that can advocate for you when you may not be present."</p><p>And there's no need to limit that sharing to just your manager—what about all of the other people that care about you and want to see you succeed? Janet Higgins, Vice President of Regional Sales at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/ciena" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Ciena</a>, suggests broadening your circle. "Build a support group around you. Share your goals and your thinking with your trusted mentors and friends. Actively think about who you can leverage in this way. Chances are they would be more than happy to reciprocate. Seeking the perspective of people outside your industry who only have your best interests at heart and are willing to give you straight honesty is pure gold," she says. </p>
8. Considering making your goals three-dimensional.<p>Writing down your goals is a classic approach, but if you have a creative bent or are a more visual learner, maybe going a step farther and making a concrete representation of your goals will help you focus on them. "Try creating a vision board that includes pictures and words of the mini goals and milestones you want to focus on to help you achieve your bigger picture goal," says Gursharn Dhami, Senior Global HR Business Partner at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/stack-overflow" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Stack Overflow</a>. "If you make it visible, you may just feel more accountable to accomplish what you've envisioned for yourself!"</p><p>Brooke Kaylie, Program Manager, National Security Group at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/primer" target="_blank">Primer</a>, agrees with the power of seeing your goals around you. "Visualize it. Decide what it is you want to do and make it so real you can touch it, see it, taste it. When I decided to change my career completely, I put things into my workspace that reminded me of where I wanted to go. Articles, photographs — anything that kept my focus on my goal," she says.</p>
9. Tackle the hardest things first—if that’s possible (ribbit).<p>There's an argument to be made for starting with easy wins, but Laura Ripans, <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/datadog" target="_blank">Datadog</a>'s Director of Channels & Alliances, won't be making it. "Get the important things done first," she says. "For me, this is early in the morning when I have no distractions. Stay focused and concentrate on the things that matter most." She suggests reading <em>Eat That Frog </em>by Brian Tracy. "There's an old saying that if the first thing you do each morning is eat a live frog, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you're done with the worst thing you'll have to do all day. For Tracy, eating a frog is a metaphor for tackling your most challenging task—but also the one that can have the greatest positive impact on your life," she says.</p> <p>As it turns out, Claudia Petrocchi, Executive Director of HR Operations for <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/csl" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CSL</a>, is a big fan of the frog approach, too. "Years ago, someone shared a Mark Twain quote with me: 'If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.' This quote clicked with me—it's so visual that it really helps me. Normally I would wait the whole day and think how awful this frog will be. But now, I'll eat the frog right away. For years I had a sticker of a frog on my laptop. So, if I had that crazy email or that crazy project, that would be my frog."</p> <p>Sasi Murthy, VP, Product and Solutions Marketing at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/netskope" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Netskope</a>, has a visual trick to help you remember to keep that big, hard goal front and center: "Invest time in thinking about what you want to achieve, not how you will do it. Then find a jar and place a big rock or a few that represent these goals inside, and fill the rest with smaller rocks. This will be a reminder that we are most effective at anything we set out to do, when we give it the space in our 'mental jar' first, and follow it with the smaller goals."</p> <p>That being said, make sure the hard thing you're going after is even possible. For Shelly Anderson Bodine, a Chief of Staff at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/software-one-inc" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">SoftwareONE</a>, remembering that she's operating in an environment where she can't control everything is key. "I once had a leader tell me you needed two things to get promoted," she says. "First, a position had to be available, and second, you had to be ready for the role when it was available. That feedback has always stuck with me throughout my career. I realized I really only had control over the latter. So each time I would move into a new role, I gave myself 6 months to acclimate. At that point, I evaluated what I could do to be better than the next person in the role I have and where do I want to go next. From there, I would create a list of things that would bring me closer to my end game, narrow down to the 2-3 most impactful, and those became my goals."</p>
10. Goals aren’t set-it-and-forget-it.<p>If you set goals in January and ignore them from then on out, your chance of marking them "achieved" at the end of the year is low. "Try not to think of goal setting as a yearly activity," says Sarah Burke, Senior Director of Software Engineering at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/ciena" target="_blank">Ciena</a>. "Achieving goals requires continual review and reassessment of priorities. Book some personal time in your calendar once a month to remind yourself to check in on how you're progressing and hold yourself accountable for re-adjusting. You are responsible for your success!"</p>
11. Go beyond a 12-month horizon.<p>Many of the things you're most interested in—be it <a href="https://blog.powertofly.com/how-to-become-a-vp-2644977654.html" target="_self">becoming a VP</a>, launching your own company, writing a book, finishing an advanced degree moving to a different country, or any other number of goals—might not happen in just one year. Tami Early, VP and General Manager Sales—Major Accounts at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/ciena" target="_blank">Ciena</a>, suggests breaking down your goals into "digestible and achievable bites." She uses the VSEM method: setting a 5+ year vision, a 2-4 year strategy, a 12-18 execution plan, and 12-month rolling metrics. "This method of goal setting allows me to think about my long- and short-term objectives, while holding myself accountable to measurable outcomes inside of a year," she says.</p>
12. Treat yourself with grace.<p>You won't achieve all of your goals, and that's okay. As Megan Sykes, Contracts Manager at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/elastic" target="_blank">Elastic</a> reminds us, "Don't set overbearing expectations on yourself. Afford yourself grace. While it's important to progress personally and professionally, we have to be adaptable to the circumstances around us (which can change over time) and live with integrity."</p> <p>That's never been more important than after the year 2020. "I'm very goal orientated both personally and professionally," shares Amanda Eleuteri, a Sr. HR Business Partner at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/cargurus" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CarGurus</a>. "Early on in my career, I would feel defeated if I didn't achieve my goals for the year. I try to be mindful that sometimes a goal is not achieved because priorities change. That was certainly the case in 2020 as needs in the business evolved and what I was focusing on shifted in response."</p><p><a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/national-security-agency-nsa" target="_blank">NSA's</a> Meredith D., PhD, echoes the importance of revisiting, and revising, your goals: "Your goals are not meant to be set in stone! There are several factors that can require them to change, even dramatically at times. Be flexible and willing to change your SMART goals. Sometimes we can foresee that the goal is not going to be achieved in our original timeframe. Or we change our mind completely! This is not a failure. It is an opportunity to reflect and revise the goal given the new information at hand."</p> <p>After all, it's about the journey, not the destination. "The process of working toward a goal is often more important than achieving the goal itself," says Stephanie Cheng, Product Engineer at <a href="https://powertofly.com/companies/folsom-labs" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Folsom Labs</a>. "The shape or timeline of your goal can change as long as you check in with yourself and continue to consistently work toward them. It's okay if you don't achieve your goal on the first try. Working toward goals is really about building the muscle memory to form slightly better habits each year. With consistency, patience, and positivity you can build the tools you need to succeed."</p>
The ocean metaphors are strong at cloud infrastructure company DigitalOcean (DO). Their all-company retreat is called Shark Week. Linux-based virtual machines that developers use are Droplets. And their annual employee engagement survey is called The Tide.